Said What I Said and You Know What I Mean

There are so many things I want to hear and everytime I don't hear them I feel my insides well up, collect, and pool.  In my stomach, my chest, my head.  I'm heavy and the weight drags me down.  I can't keep focused on anything.  Rationality and logic -- I wish I understood.  I'm emotional. Passionate.  Changeable.  Water and air.

I want to hear that it was worth it. That every ridiculous and crazy thing done had a drop of sanity and reason.  That there was meaning in it all, and in that meaning there was feeling, not just lust.  I want to hear that I didn't just ruin everything.

Tell me that behind everything, every look and touch and word, there was something.

I also really like this song for some reason I can't quite explain.

Everytime I think of winter and snow and trying to get warm, literally and metaphorically, I want Fever Ray as my soundtrack.